I’ve seen a lot of CVs during my career in HR. Sometimes they’re good, sometimes they’re really bad, and sometimes they’re completely mystifying. I remember back in the day when we were reviewing applications for a graduate program, some of the kids used abbreviated words – as if they were sending us text messages, instead of trying to get a job at a leading global firm. And then there are the CVs that run for 10 pages – no one’s that impressive, honestly.
Our lovely friend JJ recently told me about a website called enhancv. At first, I thought she had messed up the spelling (because engineer), but then I had a look and realised it’s an actual thing. Apparently it’s the human-centric resume that actually works. It helps you build a CV that looks good, includes relevant info that makes sense, and doesn’t waffle on with the crazy. “HRs love it”, they say, and I think they might be right.
Their blog features CVs for celebrities, which made me laugh. That’s where I found this video of Elmo getting fired – a tragedy that they turned right around by helping Elmo with a CV, so the little fella can get straight back on his feet. Or hands.
Today, the first in a series of Work Tips for Celebrities. Here’s looking at you, Mixed Martial Arts and boxing professional Conor McGregor. (Side note: sorry for your loss, but congrats on the giant payment for your fight on the weekend.)
Firstly, some disclaimers:
I have never seen you fight. I have never seen anyone fight. [Except for that horrible bull fight I went to with some friends when we were travelling around Spain in the late 90s (1990s, that is). Ignorance is no defence, but it was a time when bull fighting seemed like an appropriate tourist activity to tick off our Lonely Planet list.]
I am predisposed to like you because you are Irish. Our names are kind of similar. I lived in Dublin for a couple of years earlier this century, a time which remains one of the highlights of my life (unlike the aforementioned Spanish bull fight).
I have not worked in a professional capacity with athletes. [To be clear, I have not worked in an amateur capacity with athletes either. Unless “worked” could mean “cheered/laughed at”, and “athletes” could mean my nephew’s Under 7 soccer team.] I’m more of an office-based kinda gal. Which is why my first tip will relate to that time you wore an inappropriate suit to work…
Work Tip: Appropriate Attire
I have seen enough of you to know that, outside of the ring, you seem to take pride in your appearance. You’re a very snappy dresser. (I also admire your commitment to dressing your infant son in a three piece suit, albeit an impractical way for a toddler to go about their business.) However, just in case you’re not Conor McGregor and are thinking of copying his style, there’s one particular suit that I’d urge you to reconsider before attending a job interview, or a workplace (or a funeral, for that matter). What appears to be a nice pinstripe suit is actually the bearer of a not-so-subtle message. If you don’t want to listen to my advice, you can apparently buy your own “special” suit for $6,500 – and whatever the consequences might cost you after that.
Work Tip: Keeping It Real
It’s widely agreed that the best leaders (and the best workers) are authentic – people can generally rely on them to tell the truth, be consistent, and be clear on where everyone and everything stands. It’s also way less stressful than being a fraud, and having to remember the lies you’ve spun and keep up with the alter egos you’ve created. I’m not saying that mere mortals should take cues from Mr McGregor on this front either, but there’s something appealing about his directness, with gems from his GQ cover story including: “If I wasn’t me, I’d want to be me too”, and, “I’m not a celebrity. I break people’s faces for money and bounce”, and, “I’d like to take this chance to apologize…to absolutely nobody”.
Work Tip: Stay Motivated
I remember back in the 1990s, there were a lot of motivational prints (and mugs, screen savers, mouse mats). Often featuring dramatic photos of mountains, oceans, or animals, with an inspiring quote, designed to fire you up so you were ready to take on the world. Things like, Your attitude determines your altitude; There’s an opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. And, “When a team of dedicated individuals makes a commitment to act as one…the sky’s the limit.” [You can actually buy this now from http://www.successories.com, for realz.]
Anyway, I think Conor McGregor could definitely produce a new series of motivational posters for workplaces in 2017 (and beyond).
Work Tip: Mind Your Own Business
And the final celebrity work tip from Conor McGregor is sound advice for work and life in general (along the lines of the popular reminder, “Not my circus, not my monkeys”). Oh yeah, it sounds so simple. But if you’ve ever worked in a big organisation, you’ll know there are always annoying meddlers who care way too much about things they definitely don’t need to care about. In fact, maybe IT departments should think about installing this as wallpaper on every computer. Or even better, a pop-up that appears (maybe with a sound effect of someone shouting OI!) at random times during the day to remind people to focus on their own business. Genius.